Why I will never start a religion

If I do start a religion, I will base it on humane values, justice, fairness, kindness, and faith. Why? Because every religion we have is based on those same high principles.

The reason it doesn’t work is because most people lack imagination.

Let us assume I did start a religion. I decree that my followers must help each other selflessly and be kind to all people in general. I pronounce all men and women equal. I forbid violence and make it a point to underline this.

That should take care of everything, I think. Then I live my life and die when my time is up.

Time passes. Society changes. Language grows richer. Aliens make first contact with us. They start living among us.

This is when a devoted follower of mine loses it. He brings it to the notice of everyone’s that I said men and women (he jabs his finger at the words and does a wild dance to emphasise his point) and never made any mention of any other creature. He thus concludes that aliens are evil and he is allowed to kill them in my name.

Many laugh him off. Many lap it up because they were bored of their lives and are looking for excitement. They want to punish someone for the worthlessness of it instead of making an attempt to improve things.

So they form a club and call it ‘defenders of the faith’ or something. Upon those who oppose their dumbness, they make accusations of blasphemy, quoting my divine origins (I was born in a government hospital in Cuttack, you dumbfucks!).

So there. I don’t think I will start a religion. I can’t stand the idea of perfectly sane people cursing me to hell centuries from now just because their neighbours have no imagination.